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Style Invitational Week 1517: See you next week . . .

Keep in mind these occasions in fourth grade
After I shared the field lunch my mother made?
“What’s mine is yours” was our motto.
So congrats now on profitable the lotto.
(Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Mich.)
I’m sending this card and composing this ode
To say that I’m sorry I clogged your commode.
It ruined your occasion. I couldn’t really feel dumber.
However right here is the excellent news: My cousin’s a plumber.
(Bob Kruger, Rockville, Md.)
Expensive Mr. Cruz: Though I’m simply
A no-good liberal commie,
Settle for my deep condolences
On this yr’s “pink tsunami.”
(Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
Condolences! Heard you bought fired,
And worse, your dismissal was brusque.
Oh, wait … it’s congrats! You’re rehired
To scrub up the mess made by Musk.
(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)
We’re unhappy to say you bounced a examine
At our fresh-produce stand.
We wish to belief our prospects
Don’t wish to see you banned.
We like for folk to purchase our wares,
However since you probably did upset us:
We gleefully inform you there’s
E. coli in your lettuce.
(Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.)
You’re not at Fox —
I hear you had been sacked —
However congrats that eventually
You reported a reality.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Congratulations on Your Conscription
I do know you need to have been stunned
To seek out that you simply’d been mobilized,
However I hope you’ll love your new profession.
With warmest needs — Vladimir
(Stephen Gold, London)
Your DNA exams are full:
Your well being markers aren’t too dangerous.
And we discovered your half-siblings in 9 totally different states;
So that you may wish to speak along with your dad.
(Jon Carter, Fredericksburg, Va.)
How humorous to see you in Jersey final week —
I hardly ever head out that course.
I advised all of the neighbors! We predict it’s simply nice
That you simply’ve gone into witness safety.
(Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)
You wrote about trans youngsters
Rising up in Atlantis,
So congrats in your guide
Being banned by DeSantis. (Kevin Dopart)
You did not scoop
Your finest good friend’s poop
So it’s been despatched again.
(See enclosed sack.)
(John Klayman, Fairfax, Va.)
Life is stuffed with ups and downs
A bushel of smiles, a bundle of frowns
However yesterday’s crash makes us all wish to tiptoe
So sorry, my pricey, for the lack of your crypto.
(Madelyn Rosenberg, Arlington, Va.)
When life gave you lemons, you made lemonade.
We applaud you to your internal grit,
However although you had been 8, taxes ought to have been paid.
This is your IRS invoice. Please remit.
(Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
You’re such a useful neighbor
Reminding us to mow
To weed, to color, to rake the leaves
To shovel all that snow.
And thanks for all of the instruments you’ve loaned us
The rake, the hoe, the ax!
What would we do with out you?
Most likely chill out.
(Frank Mann, Washington)
And Final:
Congrats in your Type Invitational win

Successful Loser in The Put up,
Right here’s to you! Let’s make a toast:
“Have fun your witty phrases,
Lining cages beneath birds.” (Mark Raffman)
And Lastest (and can we imply Lastest!):

You gained the Invitational
Congrats! It was sensational!
You honed your writing each day;
From 9 to five you labored away.
And although, this implies a lot to you,
It’s not the job you’re s’posed to do.
The Empress could also be fairly impressed
However I’m your boss. You Lose. You’re fired! (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.)

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