Looking back, it's funny. On Sunday night, I thought I was going to die. It was a little traumatic. Don't worry. I lived.

I fell asleep on the couch Sunday night. The weekend was long, and I was exhausted. I had just completed an incredible sketch writing intensive with Nick Armstrong, and walking up the stairs just seemed a little too much. The couch was comfortable, and I quickly fell asleep while watching Bojack Horesman (which, side note, is an incredible show. And, when I discovered it's created by Olde Englishe sketch writer and performer Raphael Bob-Waksberg).

I can't sleep long on the couch. I frequently wake up, with either the god or cat nearby, watching, waiting for some affection. I woke up Sunday night, 2:20am. I realized I better check and make sure the garage door is down. 

I stumbled to the door, and suddenly I heard this:

Yep. All of a sudden, I hear that ominous, terrifying music. Close your eyes, and listen to the music. It's creepy, especially when it just starts playing. For once in my life I wish a commercial had played before the YouTube trailer. I didn't know where the sound was coming from. At 2:20am in the morning I'm pretty groggy, and couldn't reasonably realize what was happening. This is what I thought, a second by second account.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Am I about to be murdered. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die."

How quickly would you realize the music was a trailer mysteriously playing on your phone? It took me 24 seconds of horrifying 2001: A Space Odyssey trailer to realize it was from my phone. I thought I was literally in a soundtracked horror film. I thought some pycho, before murdering, would play music. Those were my thoughts.

I thought there was some Peter Griffin-esque murderer out there. Remember the Family Guy episode when Peter's wish was a theme song? Yep. I thought some wacko was doing that, and then offing people. 

Phew. Thankfully, I survived. What can we all take away from this event? I'm not really sure. Don't read articles on Zite while watching TV and then falling asleep on the couch. It's a real narrow lesson.